Awkward

I’m a magnet of awkward moments.

While on a trip one day, I took a bus to Heathrow Airport. There were no empty seats, so I had to stand all through the journey holding a heavy suitcase. It was quite a task because mine did not have wheel locks and it kept going berserk on a bumpy road. Just before it reached my destination, I thought, "Oh god, I have to push a stop button". I tried to reach for the button, handling this wheeled monster, slightly hurting myself in the process. All the while the passengers were sitting pretty. I successfully hit the button and then, seconds later, I heard this announcement - THE NEXT STOP IS… HEATHROW TERMINAL. It was the terminal station. Of course it was. Every single person leaves at the terminal. No need to push any button, you idiot!

Things like these happen a lot. When I was walking down a road in suburban Glasgow, desperate to catch a train, there was nobody but a boy in front of me. I was walking fast because I didn’t want to miss my train. The boy kept looking back at me, as if he’s been stalked by a suspicious Asian woman. About halfway through, he ran into an apartment. I couldn’t help thinking he might have gone for help. I don’t know, maybe I was just being paranoid, as is often the case.

But the worst one is when I was surrounded by a whole family on a train. The train from Edinburgh to Glasgow was not crowded, so I went for a table seat. A little later, an elderly man sat in front of me. He started reading a book, and I was with my earbuds on listening to music. We were minding our own business. At one point, a family of four came in. Mum and dad with two little kids. As most seats were half full, they split in two, dad and his daughter next to us, mum and the youngest the other. It wasn't an ideal situation, but I didn’t mind because I had a company.

But to my horror, the man got off after a few stops and the situation became worse than “not ideal” for a dead introvert. Naturally, the rest of the family filled his vacancy and they started playing cards. A full-on family situation. With hindsight, I think I should have offered my seat or had a wee chat, but I genuinely panicked. Stuck in the corner, all I could do was making my already small self as small as possible, as if it would make me invisible. I was feeling like that mysterious man at a wedding ceremony, the guy that not a single family members recognised who the hell he was. It lasted until they moved to the next table when it became empty.

I tend to overthink about such incidents. It’s a major source of self-hatred and I really couldn't overcome to the point of regretting the whole trip. It’s ridiculous, I know. But I’ve learned recently that the only way to get over it is not giving a damn about it. At the end of the day, I’m not 100% sure if I actually scared the shit out of the boy or the family remembers me as a laughing stock. Chances are all the negativities are only in my head. Even if they’re not, so be it. Just forget and move on. Channel Graham Chapman - It’s silly, silly, silly… Right, get on with it!

Taste

Whenever someone asks me what kind of music I’m into, I’m often met with a blank look on their face as soon as I answer, top 3 reaction being: "Who?”, "I’ve never heard of them" and rather indifferent “Oh, I see" which indicates the end of conversation. It’s mainly due to the gap between my actual age and the music I listen to. People of my generation are more familiar with Higedan and 10-FEET, not Steely Dan and 10cc. I can’t blame my colleague for thinking Todd Rundgren is a band name.

This is why I try not to share my musical interest with others as much as possible. Also, I’m not very proud of my music taste, to be honest. Many artists or bands I fell in love with are mostly scoffed at. I was vigorously listening to Saturday Night Fever soundtrack through my early teenage years, and the very first rock band I got into was Journey. More specifically, Steve Perry era Journey - Now you know what I’m talking about. Although I’m no longer passionate about the band, I can sing most of their songs by heart to this day.

But really, is it wrong to be a fan of artists that are widely considered as "uncool"? Who defines the coolness of music?

Music snobs, elitists, however you call them, there are people who find joy in dissing certain artists. Not while ago, I tried to reach out for other fans of The Proclaimers on a message board. It ended up with a massive failure, getting a lot of mockery and indifference. It was apparent that they were thinking I’m off my nut. Sure, I should have known I was in the wrong place to begin with, but the disappointment was tremendous.

The most annoying part was, those who ridicule them barely know their body of work. Didn’t even try. They would write the same old “I would walk 500 miles not to hear the song” and fuck off.

If they are not your cup of tea, that’s totally fine. I’m not forcing anyone to join the fandom. But what’s the point of shoving nasty comments in the fans’ faces anyway? It can only be explained as an act of bullying. It’s absolutely pointless unless you're enjoying yourself by doing that.

“You have a good taste” can be a real compliment. But I wonder, a good taste by whose definition? If I listen to classic rock and artsy stuff, do I have a good taste? If I fancy pop songs, mainstream millionaires or singers who have funny accents, do I have a bad taste? I do admire Bonzo Dog Band and consider its core member Vivian Stanshall. That’s probably OK. I also love The Horne Section, which is fronted by Taskmaster creater Alex Horne and mostly make stupid songs. Nah, maybe I shouldn’t tell it to anyone.

I was somewhat consumed by this whole thing for quite some time, until I watched this video:

Corey Taylor of Slipknot said “I don’t feel guilty about anything I listen to”, “I listen to everything from ABBA to Anthrax - Deal with it! DEAL WITH IT!!”.

It really opened my eyes. This is how music is supposed to be listened to. You don’t have to be ashamed of what you like, and there shouldn't be such thing as guilty pleasure. Again, if you don’t like some songs, that’s alright. It simply means that’s not your taste. It does not mean it’s inferior.

On a similar note, Stray Cats drummer Slim Jim Phantom picked Journey's Infinity for his "5 Albums I Can’t Live Without":

https://www.spin.com/2025/10/5-albums-i-cant-live-without-slim-jim-phantom-of-the-stray-cats/

Quote:

"Does this tick the ‘hmmm…I had no idea they would listen to that’ box?! My buddy Steve Perry is one the best singers ever. He hits all those notes full voice and makes it look easy. It’s not! He’s working really hard but makes it look and sound effortless. That’s a whole other gift. The whole band shreds on this album."

SJP put it perfectly. Despite what I have said earlier - that I’m no longer into Journey anymore - I have never stopped believing Steve Perry is one of the most skilled singer of all time. Listen to "Somethin' To Hide" on the said album. He can play the guitar with his voice.

Being open to various kinds of music enriches your life. I wasn’t surprised when I found Kyari Pamyu Pamyu’s song on David Byrne’s playlist. Todd Rundgren also had an interest in her music. Noel Gallagher and John Lydon are both Bee Gees fans, and Ozzy Osbourne was really into Michael Jackson at one point.

Deal with it!